How I Fell Off My Second Mountain (and five steps to climbing yours)
“The second mountain” as described by David Brooks, in his book of the same name, is a profound exploration of purpose and fulfillment. Climbing the first mountain, often associated with one’s career achievements and living up to societal expectations, is a common narrative. The second mountain represents a deeper, more personal quest — a pursuit of meaning, connection, and contribution.
My executive coaching practice is my second mountain. One that I began planning more than a year before leaving the company I founded and scaled. Back then, I took a long look back at my career with a particular focus on the parts that brought me the greatest joy and fulfillment. I noticed that despite the evolution from scrappy startup to complex organization, the thing I loved most about running our company was connecting with the people who worked there, helping them figure things out and, especially, supporting their growth as heart-centered servant leaders who got shit done. I found it was even more fulfilling when I blurred the imaginary line between work and home and coached the whole person. My mantra became “happier at home is happier at work and happier at work is happier at home”. Two sides of the same coin. Coaching interchangeable skills and tools that could help anyone live and work more mindfully, more intentionally and with greater effectiveness and joy. I take pride in knowing that I helped create that kind of culture. And so as I began thinking about what I’d do after retiring from active duty, it was really a no-brainer. I’m going to spend my days connecting in service of others. I’m going to be a resource for leaders who want to get even better at what they do in all aspects of life. And so I did.
About a year ago, a friend invited me to join his startup venture, I was intrigued. A chance to build something again. A chance to get back to my luxury hospitality roots. To work on UX and infrastructure which I love. A chance to work alongside likeminded business partners as I had climbing my first mountain. And it was going to have a philanthropic component where we’d be able to make a positive impact. Entepreneurial? Check. Exciting? Check. Based on a win-win-win outcome? Check. And, if I’m being honest, a chance to make some big money? Check. We vetted the partnership to make sure our skills and attitudes were complimentary. We set agreements and standards. We worked off a plan. We did all the things. I’m a bit all or nothing and so I plowed into the project with a ton of enthusiasm. I kept working with my existing coaching clients, stopped taking new ones and jumped from my second mountain, across a chasm to a neighboring one.
For reasons, which aren’t relevant to my motivation for writing this piece, the project didn’t get past the initial phase of launch. I was disappointed and sad because it was a cool project and I enjoyed it. But more visceral to me was the feeling of letting myself down — of straying from my purpose in search of excitement. Not that excitement is a bad thing. On the contrary. I could use more of it. But I think I could have found it where I was instead of trying to find it elsewhere. We do this a lot as a species. Whether it’s in career or in relationships with our mates, in our addictions, in our lack of presence and empathy. We distract ourselves instead of staying with it. We pursue the shiny thing. I did that.
I’ve come back to appreciate even more deeply the transformative journey that we embark upon after conquering our initial challenges. As a coach, I love helping people who are at this place ascend their second mountain, encouraging them to reassess priorities and embrace a purpose-aligned path. Here it’s not just about professional success but in making a meaningful impact on the world and in doing that, reshaping the meaning of their own worlds.
If this is what’s coming up for you or someone in your world, here are 5 steps to finding your second mountain:
- Reflect on Your Values: Start by introspecting deeply about your core values and beliefs. Consider what truly matters to you, both personally and professionally.
- Evaluate Past Experiences: Analyze your journey climbing the first mountain. Identify moments of fulfillment and joy, as well as instances where you felt a deeper sense of purpose.
- Define Your Unique Contribution: Explore how your skills, passions, and expertise can contribute meaningfully to the world. Envision how your unique strengths can make a significant impact.
- Embrace Change: Graceful transitions are key to navigating the shift from the first to the second mountain. Be kind with yourself, patient, resilient and adaptable.
- Craft a Purpose-Aligned Plan: With a meticulous approach, work together to create a detailed plan for your ascent of the second mountain. Consider new technologies and innovative approaches, breaking away from conventional wisdom.
By following these steps, we can embark on a transformative journey towards our second mountain, finding deeper meaning and fulfillment in our lives.
